Yesterday, we witnessed another absurd situation caused by European Aquatics. Specifically, the Champions League game in Tbilisi started 2 (!) hours earlier than it was scheduled.
Dinamo Tbilisi informed the responsible parties about the start of the game, but there was no reaction from EA, leaving fans and media confused, waiting for the match that had already ended. Even today, there is no official statement, apology, or explanation from the communication experts employed by European Aquatics, so we decided to help them out to avoid these complex situations in the future with this simple hiring.
European Aquatics is Hiring! Do You Know How to Read Time?
Are you someone who can read a clock, tell the difference between AM and PM, and maybe even figure out what “time zones” are? Well, it’s your lucky day because European Aquatics has just the job for you!
Position: Junior Time Expert
Responsibilities:
- Show up on time (that’s kind of the whole point, right?).
- Setup a new time wasting strategy for President and Vice presidents
- Organize of a conference “The equality of time zones” for federations members (for only 149.99 EUR)
- Constantly remind the President that long-term and short-term goals last the same if you don’t do anything.
Requirements:
- The ability to distinguish between “morning” and “afternoon.”
- A deep understanding that “1:59” comes before “2:00.”
- Patience for explaining how time works to grown adults.
- A working knowledge of time zones would be nice, but hey, baby steps.
Perks:
- Watch all the aquatic events you want (only if you don’t mess up the schedule).
- Join a team that pretends deadlines are flexible. Spoiler: they’re not.
- Impress your friends by being the person who always knows what time it is.
Location: In your timezone
Salary: You won’t even need a calculator
Experience: Can you count to 60? You’re in!
Apply today if you’re ready to dive into the wild world of European Aquatics—where we may not always know when things start, but we sure need someone who does!
